The hair cut

Last Monday, I was blessed to go with 3 great friends to pick up my new wig.  It was a fun time!!  After I got  home, I called my hairdresser and asked if we could go ahead and shave my head.  My hair was falling out in handfuls and I was tired of the mess.  So she met me and Maddie at the shop after hours for her to shave me.  The difference in my children is precious - my oldest, Meredith, is not ready yet to see me without my wig or a hat, and my youngest, Maddie, helped the hairdresser shave my head.  She even went so far as to put a stocking cap on her head after the deed was done and we took a picture of us both being bald.  I completely understand each one's point of view and respect and love them for their opinions.  I must say that having no hair definitely has its advantages.  I am in and out of the shower in 4 minutes, and I can "do" my hair in about 10 seconds.  I prayed before I got my wig that I would love it and I definitely do.  I can't say that I enjoy how hot it makes my  head or how itchy it can be at times, but I love the look.  In fact, I have told my sweet husband that when my hair starts to come back in, if it is gray like it was before, we will begin to pay in order to hide that gray and make it look more like it does with my wig.  Many of you have made me feel wonderful about my new hair.  I have been told I look 20 years younger by one of my Sunday School boys and had an older gentleman tell me that when my hair does come back, I should fix it to look just like my hair does now.  All the comments that have come my way have been so encouraging.  Thank you to each of you for all the kind words.  I am so blessed to have friends like each of you.   I would love it if you would pray "extra" for me this week.  I have my 2nd treatment tomorrow.  I don't look forward to another 7  hours of treatment, but I do look forward to having another one over and done.  Pray patience for my family this week as I will not be feeling all that great and of less help than I usually am.  Pray for my mom as she is here to try and help and my husband as he juggles an extremely busy work schedule and a "needy" wife this week.  Each of you means more to me than you will ever know.  As we discussed in our 7th grade girls bible study this week, each of us will go through some kind of suffering in our Christian lives at some point.  The real test is whether or not we suffer joyfully and praise God in spite of our circumstances.  I pray that is what I can do continually!!

More News!!!

To those of you who are checking regularly and see that I haven't been "blogging", I apologize.  The good news is that I have been doing so well, there is nothing to report.  I didn't really think that you care to know when I plant flowers or go shopping with my girls.  I can bore you with all those details if you really want to  know.  Today, however, I received more news about my blood work from 3 weeks ago.  I found out today that I DO have a genetic mutation for breast cancer.  What that means is that when it is time for me to have surgery, I will have a double masectomy, a hysterectomy, and reconstruction.  I asked Dr. Naqvi how long I would have to wait between surgeries, and she said I wouldn't have to wait at all.  I will have 3 surgeons (one for each type of surgery) and the surgery will last 14 hours or so.  I don't know much more than that right now.  I can tell you that it wasn't as hard to hear as I thought, because I figured if I tested negative for the mutation, I would always wonder if the cancer would come back anyway if they didn't take all of those "body parts".  I am really okay with this news thanks only to God's grace.  I refuse to even think about what recovery might be from that kind of surgery.  That is for another day and another dose of grace.
On a much lighter note, my head has been getting much lighter as of these last few days.  What I mean by that is, my hair is definitely falling out.  My sweet husband has cleaned out the shower drain for the last two mornings, so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.  What a blessing!!  So I took 3 friends with me today to pick up my new wig.  I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who thought I should go with the red.  I really like the one I got!  I received high praise from each friend who assured me it looked great!!  I prayed that I would really like it and I do.  Now I just need to have my hair dresser here to cut off what's left of my "other" hair.  I'm ready for it and all the mess to go.  Most likely the next time you see me, I will have my new "do".  Please continue to pray for my doctors, myself and my family.  My next treatment is next Monday, March 28.  My mom is coming in this Thursday and will be able to stay with us until next Thursday.  We are very excited to have her.

Wig Shopping

After a beautiful weekend of planting flowers and just enjoying God's creation, today was the day the girls and I had waited for - wig shopping.  I wanted both girls to go with me to look for what would become my new hairdo.  I asked them for their opinion, because I wanted them to feel a big part of the decision.  Thanks to the rain storm, it was a perfect morning to be indoors doing some shopping.  Fortunately for us, we were the only ones interested in wigs at this particular store today.  The first wig I tried on must have totally freaked out the girls.  They were not very nice with their opinions, and the ladies in the store were ready to put them out in the rain.  We tried to remind them it was not the color they were to critique, but rather the style.  They still both "intensely disliked" the first wig.   I truly think the first one was more a reaction to the whole idea of Mom with a wig than it was the wig itself.  The second was much better.  In fact, it was the one we all decided we liked.  Now came the decision of what color to go with.  The wig color I tried on was beautiful, but it had much more red in it and we decided that, even though we liked it, it wasn't the color for me.  However, we all decided that Mom would take this opportunity to not have nearly as much gray in her new hairstyle as she does in her current one.  So the color will definitely be darker and different than my current hairstyle, but after discovering just how much gray I have, I am wonderfully excited to try something new and look "younger".  Both of the girls tried on one wig each and thoroughly enjoyed the attention and excitement of it all.  I will try to post the pictures we took, but I'm not sure I will be technically savvy enough.  All in all, I think we all really enjoyed ourselves.

Please pray this week for the results of the blood work I did almost 3 weeks ago.  I should find out this week or next if I have the genetic marker for breast cancer.  If I do have the marker, I will have a double masectomy and a hysterectomy at the end of my treatments.  The reason is the high percentage chance of cancer returning in my other breast (60%) or my ovaries (90%) if we only remove the one with cancer now.  If I don't have the genetic marker, the surgery decision will be made after all treatments are over and we see what is left of the tumor.  I will keep you posted!!!  Thanks for praying!!!

Exercise

Before this roller coaster ride started, I was used to exercising 5-6 times per week.  I would alternate between running 4 miles or biking 11-12 miles.  I love doing that!!  So even though it had been several weeks since I had exercised (because I could hardly get myself out of bed), I decided Wednesday was as good a day as any to begin again.  So I took off on a run that lasted about .3 of a mile.  At that point, my heart rate was already through the roof (I wear a heart rate monitor), so I decided to walk/run the rest of the way.  I went for 3 miles and enjoyed every minute of it.  Until lunch time!!  Once I got home and cleaned myself up, I went to the lab to have blood work done which I now have to do every week.  I was expecting to be in and out in about 30 minutes.  After an hour wait, I was finally seen in just enough time to run to Schlotsky's and pick up the lunch for Maddie I had promised her I would bring.  As soon as she finished lunch, we went to the library so I could buy her something from the school book fair.  By the time I got home, I was ready for a nice long rest.  It was only about 1:00 pm.  I was supposed to wait on some ladies from church to bring over a prayer shawl for me to use during treatments, but I couldn't even stay up for them past 1:15.  I was sad that I missed them, but I knew I wouldn't make it if I didn't lay down for a bit.  I slept for a bit and was able to have enough energy to take the girls to church for their mid-week activities.  All in all, I think I overdid things just a little!! :) 
So on Thursday morning, I decided a bike ride might be better for me.  Instead of my normal  11-12 miles, I only made it 8.5 miles at a slower pace than normal.  I loved every minute of it also!!  The difference between the two was the tired factor.  I don't know if it was because I was one more day removed from chemo or just was an easier option for exercise.  Either way, I think I will turn to "speed walking" and biking for a while.  I sat outside today just so I could enjoy the sunshine.  It was perfect.  To make a great day even better, we had dinner brought to us by one of our favorite people and convinced her to stay and enjoy it with us.  What a blessing friends are!!!

Top Braces are OFF!!!

After almost 2 1/2 years, Meredith finally got her top braces off.  Why so long you may ask?  The original plan for braces was 1 1/2 years since Mer didn't have any huge problems with her teeth.  Unfortunately, when you don't wear your rubber bands like they tell you to wear them, you get an extra year in the deal.  I must say her teeth look fabulously awesome!!  I have no idea when the bottom ones will come off, but if they look anything like the top, she will most definitely have a winning smile!  Today was such a huge blessing to me for a totally different reason!!  I was able to ask forgiveness of a friend for an offense that she and I had been a part of and I had held on to for almost 9 years.  I had long ago forgiven her for the offense but had never asked her to forgive me for the ill feelings I had harbored for the first few years after it happened.  I can not tell you how God heals when you follow what He leads you to do.  I saw today as my opportunity to "clear" the air.  It's funny how God works.  I don't know if any of what I just said makes any sense to you, but if you don't take anything else from my story, please know this.  If you take time to call that "friend" that you may have gotten upset at years ago and have since asked God for forgiveness, but never the person, there is no time like the present.  It is amazing how God will handle it if you will only try.  I also got a great report from my surgeon who says my port has healed nicely.  All is well.  Day 5 is ending with my beginning to feel "normal" again, whatever that is supposed to mean.  Let Go and Let God!!

How Exciting is Target to you?

I found that out just today.  I have been laying low trying to allow my immune system to rebuild itself and being inside is about to drive me crazy.  So today, I called my neighbor and asked her if she could take me to Target.  How much fun it was!!  I know that may sound crazy to you, but it's true.  Other than Target, I awoke to a husband who had a bit of a stomach bug overnight.  This is the man who never gets sick, yet after my first chemotherapy treatment, he gets a touch of a stomach bug.  UGH!  It seems that he is better, because when I talked to him at lunch, he had eaten lunch and finished it off with a bag of jalapeno chips.  REALLY!  I would not have touched those with a ten foot pole.  I also swept and mopped my downstairs this morning which made me feel tons better (go ahead and roll your eyes).  I took a short nap this afternoon and that helped me make it through the girls getting home from school and the wait for dad to come home from a call to Malaysia he had to make at work tonight.  Just finished off a fantastic meal from PF Changs for dinner from a sweet friend.  Right now, I am hoping to play a game with the girls and make it to bedtime.  I'm sure I'll be ready before they will.  Thanks for your prayers! BTW, I am claiming Philippians 1:6 with another sweet friend - read it if you don't know what it says.  It's powerful!!

Listen to this playlist: royeraccount's Playlist

This is the Day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it

I  must say, I didn't start off rejoicing this morning.  After Brian and the girls left for church, I had myself a bona fide pity party.  I cried for at least a half an hour because I didn't want to be home; I wanted to be worshipping at chuch with my family.  I listened to some Chris Tomlin, Chris Sligh, and Brit Nicole and finally snapped out of it.  I cleaned a little in the house (therapeutic to those of you who are rolling your eyes), called my brother in Africa and talked to the whole family, and took a 1 1/2 hour nap.  By then, it was time for lunch.  I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich even though that didn't really sound all that great.  I knew I had better eat something.  I also took a 1/4 dosage of ritalin because I was having a really hard time focusing on anything.  I tried to read in my book and couldn't even focus on the words.  After I took it, I began to feel better in that respect.  Brian got home, ate his lunch and came and sat with me on the couch to watch a little college basketball.  The girls were out - Meredith with a friend at the rodeo to see Selena Gomez and Maddie to a friend's from church.  After a bit, my sweet friend, Alys Shorter, came over to share some of her experience with surviving breast cancer.  It was great of her to come and good for me to ask her some questions.  When she left, Brian and I took the dog on a  walk.  It was only a little over a mile, but enough for me just to get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine.  Brian went out again with the dog and I just sat out in a chair on the driveway soaking up some of that fabulous 70 degree Houston weather.  What a blessed day it turned out to be in spite of my pity party.  In my devotional for today, I was reminded that I have not been left to fend for myself.  God has given me His great power and I will never have any problem that requires more power than that.    Blessings on your day!!

Day 1

My chariot (Kela) arrived for me a little after 8 and we headed to the doctor.  Once checked in, paid, and vitals checked, I was hooked up by 8:45.  I asked how many IV bags I would have, and Mandy told me 7.  Kela and I chatted about "stuff" which was wonderful since I haven't been able to do that much in the last 2 1/2 weeks.  The 2nd or 3rd IV bag she gave me had benadryl in it and was supposed to help me take a nap.  Unfortunately, I could never get comfortable so I just dosed a little.  By 11:15, I had fnished the first 6 bags of "stuff" and Mandy hooked up the last.  I was thinking I would be out of there much sooner than originally planned.  This bag was red fluid.  I had a friend tell me she had the same drug cocktail I am having and she told me about this bag.  She told me when she was undergoing chemo, there was a man that would come around the hospital where she was having treatment and pray with the chemo patients.  When he got to her and saw her red bag, he told her it was like having the blood of Jesus running through her.  She really liked that and so do I.  Let it run through and wash away all of the nasty stuff inside.  Since Kela had a commitment at school, my other chariot, Laura, arrived with lunch.  Chicken Noodle Soup from CFA was awesome.  I had never tried it, but I'm thinking it will be my lunch of choice on those days.  After lunch I tried to rest again and this time, Laura says she thinks I slept for an hour.   By the time I finished my lunch and nap, the red bag was still going strong.  Around 3:15 I finally finished and headed home already extremely tired.  I stayed on the couch lying down because every time I would try to sit up, I would feel nauseated.  I was surprised that it hit that fast.  This morning, however, so far so good.  I again want to say thank you to all of you who are supporting me in this journey.  You really discover who your friends are in situation like this and I am abundantly blessed with all of you.  Continue to pray for my girls so that when they see me laid out on the couch or bed it doesn't upset them.  Love to all of you.

Make the Most of It

Today is my last "free" day until all of this is over and I am declared "Cancer Free".  So what am I doing with my day you may ask.  How about an exciting day of Target, Wal-mart, maybe a little lite cleaning/picking up around the house, etc.   I know, I know, you wish you could join in the fun.  :)  I begin my first treatment in the morning.  I have all of the meds to take care of all the side effects that are expected.  I am a little anxious once again of the unknown and would appreciate continued prayers over the next week as I see how this affects me.  Many of you have asked how you can help me.  A sweet friend has set up a care calendar for me and the info is at the top of my blog right under the title.  Check it out if you are able.  As I read in my devtional book this morning, I was reminded of something again that seems to be very obvious to me in these days.  As believers, we have a responsibility to be a blessing not only to those who are living godly lives but also to those who are not.  Do you find yourself upset at the checkout person at the grocery store when they overcharge you by accident?  Do you fuss a little too much at the waiter when you have had to wait a little too long for a refill? We have no idea what any of those people are dealing with in their lives, yet we are to be Jesus to them.  How are you doing with that?  I pray daily for God to bring someone into my path, either that I already know or that I have never met, that I can somehow show God's love to them.  That is how I am making the most of it.  How about you?

Scan Results are IN!!

After reading in my devotional book this morning (I already shared those gems of wisdom with you), I had decided that no matter what happened today with results, it could never be too difficult for God to handle.  So why was it when I was sitting with Brian in the office waiting for Dr. Naqvi to come and give us the news, a little Satan leaked into my mind again.  Every time it happens, I pray it away.  We waited a bit (30 minutes or so) for Dr. Naqvi.  As that time elapsed, I (as I had done many times before) had once again decided I had cancer all over my body.  Satan had reminded me of joint pain in my wrist, so I was convinced it was in my bones.  He reminded me of losing my apetite for Chick-fil-a several months ago, so I was convinced I had stomach cancer.  And so it goes!!!  Why oh why do we let him have any space in our minds?  Our God is greater, our God is stronger!!  When Dr. Naqvi walked in with a big smile and said:  "GOOD NEWS - YOUR SCANS ARE ALL CLEAR!!!", of course, I started to cry.  She immediately told me she understood!!  She explained all of it to me and told me that I was a very healthy person and would handle chemotherapy just fine.  She then took time to answer all of my questions in a very relaxed manner, never making me feel rushed or like she had somewhere else to be.  She went through all of the medications I will be taking and told me when to take them.  The plan is to take 4 chemo treatments over the next 3 months (one every 3 weeks) and then 12 more treatments over the next 3 months (one a week).  She mentioned that the 2nd half of treatments will not be nearly as hard as the first but she was confident I would handle the first ones just fine.  God is truly amazing!!  As Brian and I were leaving, I was blessed yet again to be able to minister to another breast cancer patient named Joni.  Please pray for her - there are lots of things going on for her.  Thank you so much for all of your prayers and love.  We need every bit of it!!

Port Surgery

We checked in at Methodist just before 6 this morning.  By 6:30, I was already in my gown and hooked up to all sorts of machines with an IV ready for anesthesia.  I even had a hose inserted in my gown for heat and given a controller to control the temperature.  How Awesome is That!!  Every single person I came in contact with was absolutely wonderful!!  I met several nurses, the anesthesiologist, her nurse, Dr. Pollack came in along with her nurse for surgery.  It was a party with an elite guest list! :)  At a few minutes before 7:00 AM, I was taken into the Operating Room and surrounded by all of those wonderful people.  One of them placed the oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and the next thing I remember was at 8:30 waking up in the recovery room.  Amazing!!  By 9:30, Brian and I were headed home.  Everything was super this morning including having a super husband who is hanging with me every step of the way on this journey.  I am now sore and trying to avoid the Vicadin.  Taking Tylenol instead - we'll see  how long that lasts.  :)

Nothing at All

My sweet friend, Laura, gave me this book to read day and night reminding me of God's peace.  This morning as I head to the hospital for the port surgery and then this afternoon to the oncologist for results and the "plan", this is what I read.  "I am the Lord, the God of all peoples of the world.  Is anything too hard for me?"  Jeremiah 32:27  Then, "Ah Lord God!  Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm!  Nothing is too difficult for You."  Jeremiah 32:17  I was reminded that impossible situations are God's specialty.  My obstacles are nothing at all to God.  What a message for me this morning and maybe you too!!  Keep praying - I continue to pray away the anxiousness as it takes hold of me.  Love all of you who are loving on me and my family!!