9 days later

Okay - I must admit - I was fully expecting to have little or no recovery with the 2nd surgery.  Any of  you who have seen me since last Tuesday afternoon (surgery) know that I am very disappointed.  My expectations were unrealistic and I am having a hard time swallowing my recovery being slower than I'd hoped.  The plastic surgeon did his revision of my reconstruction which took about 2 hours (he had to give me 2 drains again) and the gynecologist did a full hysterectomy (ovaries, fallopian tubes, and uterus), which took about an hour.  I came home Wednesday evening after waiting all day for my plastic surgeon to come by.  Finally at about 3, the nurse called his office.  He said I could go ahead and go home, because he wouldn't be able to make it by.  Really??? Couldn't have told me a little sooner???  Oh well.
Once home, I began the recovery process.  It was once again hard to stand and sit (just not as hard as after the first surgery), hard to find a comfortable position to sleep, and just all around to move.  O JOY!  I went happily to my 8th grade daughter's band concert Thursday night - it was very painful but well worth it.  On Friday, the plastic surgeon's nurse was able to take out the drains which definitely added to a better  night's sleep.
Today is Thursday and it has been 9 days since surgery.  I saw the plastic surgeon on Tuesday.  He gave me a few options.  I could be completely done with the reconstruction or there are a few more things I could do (I guess plastic docs are never fully satisfied).  Since one of those options would include another surgery, I told him I am just not ready for that again.  Just say NO to surgery.  He assured me this particular surgery would be a day surgery, but I still said not right now.
After leaving his office, I stepped across the hall where my gynecologist's office is located.  I wanted to see if I could ask the nurses a quick question about some swelling I noticed.  Fortunately, another patient had cancelled and they were able to get me in to see the doctor (I didn't think it was necessary, but nevertheless...).  He quickly let me know that everything looked just like it was supposed to.  He also told me that he had gotten the pathology on my ovaries and they were cancer-free.  YEAH God!!
Now it is time to just give my body time to completely heal.  There is still quite a bit of swelling that may take as long as 3 months to resolve itself.  As far as inside, my lower abdominal organs are looking for a new home.  The rest of my torso is just trying to adjust to my new "normal".  I think it may take a while, so pray for patience for me.  I am ready to exercise again, drive again, and just overall, have a normal life again.  I can never thank you enough for your meals, rides, encouraging words, and most of all, your prayers.  God is good, all the time!

2nd Surgery Scheduled

After meeting with the gynecologist and coordinating with my plastic surgeon, my second surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, October 18, at 12:30 pm.  I will be at Memorial Hermann Memorial City again for the surgery and will have an overnight stay (hopefully just one).  My plastic surgeon will perform his part of the surgery first (approximately 2 hours) and then the gynecologist will perform the hysterectomy (approximately 1 hour).  The gynecologist told me last week that I was no longer a candidate for laproscopy.  He told me that since I had the abdominal surgery, he didn't feel like it would be best to do the hysterectomy laproscopically.  At first, I was disappointed, but he quickly told me that he would only have to make a 1-2 inch incision and that all of his work could be done through that incision.  He also told me that my recovery time would be much the same as if it had been done laproscopically.  I was happy with that news!!  I'm fairly certain this hospital stay will just be on a regular floor.
I also met with Dr. Holmes, my oncologist, yesterday.  She was "giddy" with the news from pathology.  She indicated that of the 0.5 cm mass that was left in the breast, the cells were so sickly and shriveled up that the pathology department couldn't do a complete study on them.  She was thrilled because that means the cancer cells responded extremely well to the chemotherapy.  Her excitement matched mine, so we were quite a sight!  She feels certain that the cancer is gone!  After three years, if nothing reappears, she told me I would be considered "CURED".  Those words were overwhelming!  What a gracious Lord we serve!  I don't think this has all sunk in to my thick skull yet, but I know it will soon!  I have to go back to the oncologist every 3 months for blood work and an exam for the next year.  The second year it will move to every 4 months, then the 3rd, 4th, and 5th year, every 6 months.   I will continue to rely on a great team of doctors throughout this time period.  More than that, I rely on the God of the universe, who made me fearfully and wonderfully!  Keep praying!!

Pathology Results

I met with my breast surgeon, Dr. Pollack, yesterday to discuss the results of pathology from surgery.  The news was FABULOUS!!  There was no evidence of malignancy in either (they only removed two) of the lymph nodes and the mass from the right breast was only 0.5 cm in size.  There was no evidence of cancer in the left breast.  I am sure that once I go to the oncologist on September 30, she will discuss the results more in detail, but for now, I am thrilled!! What a mighty God we serve!! 
I would love for you guys to pray for comfort while sleeping.  I have had to sleep on my back since surgery two weeks ago.  I have just about had it with that.  I can no longer get comfortable on my back so I am exploring ways to sleep on my side without it causing too much pain.  Last night, I was not successful, but I am hopeful each  night will get better.  Thanks friends!!

The Experience

Friday morning, September 2, 5:00 AM.  I had already showered the night before and cleaned myself with some kind of wipes that leave your body feeling very sticky.  When the alarm went off on Friday morning, I was as ready as I would ever be.  I still had not fully comprehended what would be happening once at the hospital.  We arrived at the hospital a little after 6 and went to the nuclear medicine floor.  They had to inject nuclear medicine into the right breast so that once I was in surgery, they would be able to detect if any or how many lymph nodes were affected by the cancer.  I was holding myself together pretty well at this point.  After we finished there, the nurse took us down to the surgical floor (2nd), so I could be prepped for surgery.  As we signed in, we were very pleasantly surprised to already see 5 men there waiting for us.  Some of Brian's men's life group and one of our ministers from church had been waiting since 6 to see us.  It was seeing all of these men there in support of Brian and myself that caused me to "loose it".  We all prayed and then they took me back to prepare me for surgery.  The next hour passed in a bit of a blur.  I saw the anesthesiologist, answered lots of questions for the nurses, got the IV started, saw both of my doctors, and then was allowed a few visitors before going into surgery.  My pastor was one of them.  What a wonderful church we have that people will make time to let you know they care no matter how busy they are.  We are truly blessed!  Thanks Men's Life, Larry B., and Dr. Brooks!  You were more helpful than you could ever imagine.  At 8:04, they began the anesthesia and told me I would get a little sleepy.  I mentioned the lights were starting to "swim" and that is the last thing I remember until as I was being rolled out of surgery, and I asked the nurses what time it was and was told 10:00 PM.  I was beyond thrilled.  God answered our prayers!!  I had been in surgery for 14 hours and knew that meant my lymph nodes were cancer free.  Praise God!! Brian told me that Baylor had beaten TCU - I couldn't believe it, but was of course, thrilled. 
From there, I was taken to SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit) and began my 4 day stay.  At the direction of the doctor, I was under a "warmer".  It reminded me of a long skinny floatie you use in the swimming pool to lounge on.  It had a large hole that they hooked up a hose to that was blowing warm air constantly.  They placed a blanket over it to hold it in place.  The purpose of the warmer was to keep my blood flowing so that in the new area (flap), the blood would not slow down, possibly clot, and cause the flap to die.  The SICU nurses were instructed to come in every hour and listen for arterial and venous blood flow on both of the flaps.  The hourly checks would continue until Sunday night; at that point, they went to every two hours.  So between the hourly checks and the warmer (I am naturally very hot  natured and don't sleep with much cover), I didn't get much sleep for a while.  That was the reason I asked to not have any visitors.  I was a mess!!  I also had 4 drains that needed to be emptied each day (two for the breasts and two for the abdomen).  On Saturday morning, just 12 hours after surgery, I was able to get up out of bed and into a chair that sat next to my bed (with LOTS of  help).  I sat up for an hour and then got back into the bed.  That task alone was exhausting!!  I repeated the task at about 10 PM that night.  By Sunday, I was up and into the chair 3 times and doing a little more walking.  One of the first things I noticed on Saturday morning was how swollen I was.  The explanation given for that was the amount of anesthesia I had been given.  They started IV fluids immediately to flush all of it out of my body.  My oldest daughter thought it was the weirdest thing.  The way she described it was that my hands looked all soft and that there were no wrinkles for my knuckles.  I was thankful that I had not worn my wedding ring, because they would have had to cut it off of me.  After a few days, my swelling in my non-IV hand went down.  By Monday, the nurse started an IV in my right hand in order to alleviate the swelling that remained in my left hand.  It made a huge difference!  My feet however continued to stay swollen - probably because I had "leg squeezers" on both legs and a blood pressure cuff on my left leg.  It was difficult to get my shoes on when we left the hospital. 
My doctor released me from the hospital on Tuesday.  Being home has been wonderful!  Each day,  my mobility and ability to do things for myself has improved.  I still have one drain in and am hopeful to have it removed tomorrow when I see the doctor again.  Everything feels funny - my entire torso.  I understand that is very normal.  I am standing a little straighter every day but am still not completely straight.  I have to wear this awful "girdle" thing to hold every thing together nice and tight.  I DO NOT enjoy it.  I can't imagine how ladies wore them all the time in the "olden days".  I am ready to be released from it, but unfortunately, I don't think it will be for a while. 
I will meet with my breast surgeon this Thursday to discuss pathology results of the one lymph node they removed and any cancer that may have been left in the breast.  We are praying for good reports.
My plastic surgeon says there is a phase 2 surgery in which he will reshape the breasts and make them look more "normal".  He says it will only last an hour or two and that maybe he can coordinate it with  my hysterectomy surgery.  That way I only have to be under anesthesia again once.  My hysterectomy will most likely be done laproscopically.  This surgery will be mid to late October - depending on my recovery.  I will keep you updated on that . 
Thank you for all you are doing for my family.  When I asked my Mom what she had done the entire day of surgery, she said she visited all day with all of you that came to the hospital.  That means more to me than words can describe.  Thank you for being so supportive of Brian and my Mom and for taking care of my girls throughout this ordeal.  Thank you for being rides for the girls now that I can't drive and for bringing meals again.  You all are wonderful!!  Please feel free to come for a visit - I would love the company.  I am up all day at this point and take very few naps.  If you would like to call to make sure, please do.  Please don't feel like you would be a bother - it is quite the opposite.  I think the company would help me heal faster!!  Hope to see you soon!!

Chemotherapy is DONE!!

Lord willing, I had my last chemotherapy on Wednesday of last week.  Many of you already know that and have celebrated with me.  HIP!! HIP!!  HOORAY!!  I just wanted to give you an update of things and calendar of when things are scheduled.  This week is full of doctor appointments:  plastic surgeon for lots more details on surgery; cardiologist to make sure my heart handled chemo well and will handle surgery well; another visit with the oncologist (without the chemo); and blood work/pre-op stuff in preparation for surgery.  The surgery is scheduled for Friday, September 2 at Memorial City Memorial Herrmann Hospital.  I have to check in at 6:00 AM with surgery to start at 8:00.  The breast surgeon has told me that her part of the surgery will take approximately 2 hours.  The plastic surgeon is doing what is called a DIEP flap reconstruction.  He will make a cut from hip to hip and remove the area below the waist to use for reconstructing the breasts (in essence, a tummy tuck - a good part to all of this).  He then has to re-tie all the blood vessels together for the new breasts - this, apparently, is a very tedious and difficult process.  The reconstruction part of the surgery will take anywhere from 8-12 hours, depending on how my blood vessels respond.  We, again, are praying believing they will all work well.  After surgery, I will be admitted into ICU for 24 hours or more.  The reason for that is the nurses have to check on me every hour to make sure the blood flow is working correctly.  In ICU, there is a one-to-one patient/nurse ratio (or at least a lower ratio).  The plastic surgeon told me I would be in the hospital for 3-7 days.  I won't know for sure what to expect at home until I have further discussion with the plastic surgeon this week.  I will try to post one more time before surgery.  My care calendar is back up for those of you who would like to help in those areas.  Please continue to pray that the pathology comes back indicating that the cancer is gone.  Thank you for your love and concern for my family through all of this.  It would be much more difficult without incredible friends like each of you.

Surgery Date

I finished #10 out of 12 treatments and now have my surgery scheduled for Friday, September 2 at Memorial Hermann Memorial City Hospital.  I met with the breast surgeon this last week and she explained a bit of what she will be doing during the surgery.  In essence, the first thing they will do is inject a nuclear medicine in order to check the lymph nodes on the side of the tumor.  If any of them are "hot", they will remove them.  If I understand correctly, there are 1-3 sentinel (sp?) lymph nodes they will remove anyway on that side.  They will only remove others if they show up as having cancer in them.  We are praying that none of the lymph nodes are affected.  Thankfully, none of the doctors I have seen, whether it be oncologists or surgeons, have ever suspected the lymph nodes to be involved.  We will pray that is the case.  After the breast surgeon removes the breast with the tumor, she will move to the other side and begin work there.  She told me that at that time, the plastic surgeon can come in and get started if he chooses.  They could both be working at the same time - WOW!!  The plastic surgeon did tell me that  if any of the lymph nodes are affected, he would most likely not do reconstruction on the same day so as to allow me to have further treatments if necessary.  Again, we are praying, believing, that will not be the case. 
I meet with the plastic surgeon on the 23rd of August and will get lots more detail from him about his part.  He is the one that will do most of my follow-up care.  I won't bore you (or disgust you) with the details of his part. Just know that I will need lots of prayer throughout this whole process.  After I meet with him, I will give you a brief synopsis of what I am to expect.  I do know that the breast surgeon told me to follow his instructions to the letter in order to recover properly.  She told me that the biggest problems recovering come from trying to get up and do things too soon.  I intend to do exactly as the doctor says (even though I am extremely stubborn and tend to not follow instructions well).  :) 
Once I have surgery, I will need lots of help with meals and rides for my girls to after school  activities for a while.  I will find out once I meet with the plastic surgeon  more of the details, but I'm guessing I won't be driving for over a month.  If you are willing to be a weekly ride (piano, flute, dance, church, etc.) for my girls,  just let me know and I will sign you up.  The care calendar will go back into full swing once I have my surgery.  I'm blessed to have  such wonderful friends.  Thank You!!

3 treatments left!!

We returned home on Sunday from a fabulous week at Pine Cove Family Camp (ending Saturday) and dropping off our girls at Pine Cove youth camp on Sunday.  Family camp was incredible to say the least - we really love doing that together.  We would love to visit with any of you who have ever considered family camp and share our DVD with you to show you how much fun we have.  Some of the highlights are:  breakfast trail ride (just the adults) followed by a wonderful breakfast (including bacon soaked in maple syrup - YUMM!!); trail ride with Maddie for the first time (she is finally 10 and old enough to ride the BIG horses); ziplining; breathtaker (also known as the superman) for all of us including me :); father/daughter dance lesson; water rocketing (girls with their cabin groups); lots of swimming; cattle roundup (for Dad - he loves doing this - you actually round up and herd cattle a couple of different times); and better than all of that is just getting to know our family devo counselor, and many other counselors associated with all the different things we do throughout the week.  Our family devo counselor, BAMA (full camp name is A-Bama Whama - got the name because she goes to Auburn but cheers for Alabama b/c that is her home town), was the best - we absolutely LOVED getting to kow her.  We also get to see the same (for the most part) wonderful families each year and that is an added Bonus as well!!  We highly recommend family camp at Pine Cove - just ask us about it - any and all of us love to talk about it!
As far as the medical side of things, I was able to have a chemotherapy treatment in Tyler during family camp and that was a huge blessing.  The doctor that I met with was awesome - she has written a book, SEEDS, that I would recommend to anyone about her journey from growing up in Yugoslavia and coming ultimately to the U.S.  Very easy read and amazing stuff she endured during the journey.  I went to my treatment again this morning - so that leaves me only three chemotherapy treatments to have.  My last treatment is scheduled for August 17th.  YIPPEE!!  The new way you can pray for me now is preparing mentally and emotionally for the surgery that will be the week of August 29th (or so it seems as of today).  I am beginning to be more nervous and worried and am working feverishly to turn it over to God and leave it at His feet.  I just haven't reached that level yet.  I will have a double mastectomy and reconstruction (assuming there is no cancer in the lymph nodes that they will remove) on the same day.  The surgery will be approximately 10-15 hours.  I will have 4 drains (one for each breast and one at each hip for the flap incision for reconstruction).  I realize I am not the first one to have this kind of surgery done and taking comfort in that.  My God is able to carry me through this part of the journey as He has all the other parts. 
Thank you for your continued prayers.

Great News!!

I went in for an ultrasound today because the doctor was having a hard time finding the tumor yesterday at my appointment.  What a great thing for me to hear!  She wanted to make sure that she was measuring the size of the tumor accurately to continue to monitor the progress and success of the chemotherapy.  With another ultrasound, she could more accurately locate the tumor and measure it.  The ultrasound that initially identified the tumor was on February 17.  The radiologist showed me that day that my tumor was in two parts (one bigger than the other), but in total measured around 4 cm.  When the biopsy was done on February 21, the radiologist placed a clip in the heart of the biggest part of the tumor to mark it for future reference.  Upon inspection today, the radiologist told me that all that was left of the area with the clip was the clip itself.  No more tumor there.  The other part of the tumor is no bigger than 1 cm.  Praise God - the treatment is doing it's job and killing my cancer.  What a mighty God we serve!!  They also did an ultrasound on the left breast just to make sure that nothing suspicious was there.  Afterwards, she had me do a mammogram.  With all the cancer stuff going on, I totally forgot about the routine mammogram that was due in May.  Nothing showed up in either the mammogram or the ultrasound of the left side.  Hip! Hip! Hooray! 
Just wanted to share the great news of the day!

Fabulous Florida Fun

Last I posted, the girls and Brian had left for Florida and were planning to pick me up at the airport in Tampa on July 5th after my treatment that morning.  It worked beautifully (for me anyway - Brian had the hard part with driving 12 hours on the 4th and another 6 on the 5th before my plane landed)!!  Sarasota, Florida, specifically Siesta Key, was wonderful as usual!  This was our 5th and best year yet to go.  My college roommate's parents and uncles own several condos on Siesta Key beach and we have been thoroughly enjoying our visit each year.  This year was better than ever because for the first time, we were able to coordinate with my roommate to be there together.  She has 4 wonderful children that I had never met (3 girls and 1 boy).  My girls and her kids hit it off beautifully.  Not only was Gela (my roommate) there with us, but also her mom and dad, her sister and family, and two of her cousins with each of their families.  It was fabulous!  It had been 21 years (since Gela got married) that I had seen any of her family, so for me, it was fantastic!  Gela's family and ours had an adjoining condo and spent just about every minute together (including sleepovers).  Some of the highlights were hunting for seashells, playing in the waves on a stormy day, crab hunting (one of Brian's favorite things even if he did get "pinched" pretty good once), swimming out to the sand bar to hunt for sand dollars (found many), boogie boarding, grilling out and eating meals together as much as possible.  It couldn't hae been better!!  We truly hope we can repeat this again in years to come.  We have always had a great time in Florida even just meeting new people and seeing them again from year to year.  This year was just extra special!!  Now we are home and gearing up for another trip - this time to Pine Cove for Family Camp.  We are really excited about it as well.  We will leave on Sunday morning to drive to Tyler (much closer than Sarasota).  Family camp will last until Saturday, but we will stay the night, because the girls will go to Pine Cove youth camp on Sunday, the 24th for a week.  July is always busy for us but with things that are great fun! 
The latest Dr. news is that my MRI came back normal, so there are no tumors in my brain.  Praise God!  The tests showed a bulging disk in my neck and some bone spurs also.  I will go back for a follow-up after PC and find out if there is anything the neurologist wants me to do. 
My Dr. visit/chemotherapy yesterday went well.  7 down, 5 to go!  I will go for treatment #8 while I am at Pine Cove in Tyler because Dr. Holmes has a colleague there.  That is a huge blessing!!  Dr. Holmes, once again, had a hard time finding my tumor to measure it.  She is sending me for an ultrasound, because she wants to make sure to be accurate when she measures each time and ensure that the chemo is working like it is supposed to.  I will go for that Ultrasound today if they can work me in since we are leaving town Sunday.  All is well otherwise.  She did tell me that my surgery would be 2 weeks after my last treatment, making it the last week of August.  I was surprised by that (and a liittle nervous).  I am hoping to make it the first week of September, so I can have two weeks of school behind me with the girls and finish all the beginning of school paper work and check writing.  We'll see. 

What a Month!

PLEASE forgive me for not updating!  I have received several "complaints" and I deserve each and every one of them for not updating this in over a month.  I hope you all know that means things have been going well.  I will try to give you the highlights of each week I missed and catch you up.  Be prepared to be here awhile! :)
I started my second half of chemotherapy on May 31.  For those of you who don't remember, that was the last week of school.  I attended Maddie's (my 4th grader) Celebration of Learning and had a wonderful friend from church pick me up afterwards to take me to my new doctor (whom I LOVE by the way).  I had to see the doctor when I got there for the first visit, and we ended up waiting for over 1 1/2 hours for that part.  When I got to the chemo part, it got very interesting!  The chemo nurse tried to access my port, but as soon as she did, it hurt in my neck and my shoulder (never had done that before). When I told her that, she immediately told me she didn't feel comfortable doing chemo from my port, so she would have to search for a vein.  O JOY!!  She also sent me for a port study the next morning to see if anything was wrong with it.  Long story short, during the port study, they found out my port had sprung a leak.  I had to have the leaky one taken out and a new one put in on Friday, June 3 (first day of summer).  Great way to start summer!!  The good news was the doctor was able to use the current port "cubby hole" for the new one so I didn't have to get it on the other side.  I am extremely grateful for Antoinetta (the chemo nurse) who caught the trouble.
The first full week of summer was FULL for sure!  We had things like swim practice every day, two swim meets at night (lasting until 10 or later), dress rehearsal for Maddie's recital as well as the actual recital, the weekly chemo, and two days of planning for VBS at church.  It was crazy busy!  It was all fun stuff, but not relaxing like you think summer will be (at least not yet).  The week following that was VBS at church.  I had committed long ago (before diagnosis) to direct Maddie's 4th grade department for VBS and decided to stick with the commitment.  Many thought I was a bit crazy to do so, but I knew I had fabulous teachers working with me and knew it would all work out great!  We had to leave the house every morning by 7:45 and wouldn't get home typically before 2 or 3 (Mer and I would run errands and Maddie was practicing every day for the VBS musical that would be held on Friday night along with Family Fun Night).  We also had another swim meet during VBS one night which meant we didn't get home and inn bed until after 10 again.  Fun but a bit crazy!  By Friday night of VBS, we were all tired.  We attended FFN and musical at church and headed home around 8:30.  This is when it got interesting!
We got the kids to bed and as I was walking through the den around 9:30, I had the immediate onset of the worst headache I have ever had.  It stopped me, literally, in my tracks.  I sat down on the couch, then laid down due to nausea, and decided to put myself to bed and hope the pain would go away.  I was up off and on the whole night with the pain and nausea.  The next morning, we had our last regular swim meet and had to leave the house by 7:30.  I didn't want to miss, so I went along.  We were outside until 1:00 pm.  It was hot, but I tried to stay in the shade as much as possible.  The nausea was gone, but the headache was still going strong!!  By Sunday (Father's Day), it was still hurting all over my head, but was moving and began to hurt in my neck.  We dropped Meredith off at church to leave for Camp Tallowood and headed home.  Once I got home, I called the doctor (my doctor happened to be on call).  After I described all of my symptoms to her, she decided it would be best if I went to the ER to have some tests run.  She told me she would call ahead to let them know what she wanted to have done.  We left Maddie at home (her choice, but not much later a great friend went by the house and picked her up for the afternoon) and headed to the ER.  Sure enough, when we got there we didn't even have to wait.  They had spoken with the doctor and knew she wanted a CAT scan of the brain and some blood work done.  They started an IV and gave me meds that you would normally give a person having a  migrane.  Once all the tests were perfomed, they came in and said everything was normal and gave me a RX for a muscle relaxer and pain med.  Throughout the course of the week, the headache continued to hurt in my head, but it gradually moved from my neck to my shoulders, through my back, and into my tailbone and down my legs.  I joked that it was working itself out eventually b/c there wouldn't be anywhere else for it to go.  Sometime during the week, I also started  having  very high-pitched ringing in my ears.  It reminds my of how your ears feel after you  have flown on an airplane and your ears havent' opened up again.  Maddie attended a dance camp during the week and Mer was at Camp Tallowood all week.  It was much more low key than the previous two weeks had been.  I firmly believe that the headache was a result of overdoing things those first two weeks.  I sometimes seem to forget that I am a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy weekly.  The headache lasted 10 days.  Then, last Tuesday, when I woke up to get ready for chemo - it was gone.  YIPPEE!!  When I got to the doctor, the nurse shared my joy but wanted me to see a neurologist in order to find out what might have caused it.  More doctor appointments!!:(  Let me just tell you how crazy last week was with all the appointments:  Monday, met with gynecologist oncologist; Tuesday - chemo; Wednesday - met with neurologist who ordered 3 more tests; Thursday - held 7th grade girls bible study in the morning at my house then went back to neurologist to complete tests, had lunch at home, then went to meet potential plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction; Friday - had MRI.  Let me fill you in a little on each:
MONDAY - met with Dr. Barry Siller (recommended by not only my oncologist, but also a couple of friends/family who have had him as a doctor before).  He is a gynecologist oncologist.  He confirmed that he would not be doing the hysterectomy on the same day as my double masectomy and reconstruction (as I was first told).  He said that after I had recovered from that surgery, he would bring me in for the hysterectomy.  He told me I would be a candidate for laproscopy, but even if he had to do it by making an incision, the incision would only be 1-2 inches and recovery would be about the same - 10-14 days.  Sounds easy enough after the first surgery recovery of 6-8 weeks.  I really like him and will most likely use him for the hysterectomy.
TUESDAY - chemo was uneventful again - praise the Lord!!
WEDNESDAY - met with Dr. Sadeghi at the Houston Headache and Neurological Institute.  He asked lots of questions and then ordered a stress test, a balance test, and an EEG to err on the side of caution and find out what might have caused the headache.   Before I left there, I had the EEG done (it took longer to get the electrodes attached to my head than to perform the test - I don't know how they do it on someone that has a head full of hair :)). 
THURSDAY - I held the 7th grade girls bible study at the house - it was great as usual.  Afterwards, I headed back to the Headach Dr. to do the stress and balance tests.  They were uneventful, so I considered that a blessing!  I then went home to eat a quick lunch and go back to the doctor - this time to meet with a plastic surgeon, Dr. Derrik Lou.  I really liked him, but WOW! was I overwhelmed when I left there.  The only thing fully decided was that I would  do "flap reconstruction" (not implants), which would give me a tummy tuck as well.  One positive in the midst of all of this mess.  When I begin to think about it again, I get overwhelmed again, so i try not to think about it too much.  I'll think about it when the time comes, and I know God will prepare me for it!
FRIDAY - MRI!  If you have been blessed enough to never have to endure an MRI, be extremely thankful!!  The MRI was of my neck, then my brain, then my brain again with the contrast dye.  Thankfully, I am not a claustrophobic person.  The only way I can describe it is it say that it is the worst possible fire alarm sound you can imagine at different pitches and for different lengths of time right up next to your ears.  Even with earplugs and another covering over my ears, it was almost unbearable.  With all three parts of the test, I was in the "tube" for over an hour.  While you are undergoing this test, there is not much you can do except pray.  I had an awesome prayer time and covered lots of ground.  If you are going through anything right now and I know about it, it's likely I prayed for you while in the "tube". 
I won't know the results of this test before I leave town tomorrow.  Please pray for positive test results!  When I spend too much time thinking about it, my imagination (or SATAN), takes over and I get overwhelmed.  That's the time that I just pray and know that God is in control. 
Please pray for my sweet  husband and two girls who left town this morning at 6 AM.  They will be driving 12+ hours to Tallahassee, Florida to stay the night and then continue on to Tampa to pick me up at the airport.  I am going to catch a flight after my chemo tomorrow.  We will be spending a glorious week on the beach (Sarasota, Florida - Siesta Key Island) with my college roommate and her family (some extended too).  We will return on July 13th.  Just enough time for another chemo and some laundry before leaving again on the 17th for Pine Cove Family Camp.  Thanks for your continued prayers and concern for me and my family!  I truly am blessed to have each of you in my life!

Port Problems

Today I began my second half of treatment with a different chemotherapy drug.  I will be doing these treatments once a week for 12 weeks.  They were very proactive in trying to ensure I didn't have an allergic reaction to this new drug.  Thankfully, it worked and I didn't have a reaction at all.  However, there was a problem accessing my port.  As soon as she inserted the needle, I felt pain in my shoulder and my neck.  In fact, over the last 5 days of so, I had been having some discomfort on the port side of my neck and shoulder, but just figured it was from exercise or stress.  Unfortunately, the nurse decided that there may be something wrong with my port and scheduled me for a port study tomorrow morning.  They will inject a dye into the port and follow it to see that nothing is wrong with the pathway.  If something is amiss, they will have to take out the current port and give me a new one.  O JOY!  Just another little bump in the road.  I have to be at the doctor by 6 AM tomorrow morning and won't be home until after 11 if they have to replace the port.  They will be able to do that right there in the office (Interventional Radiology, I think it's called).  When I asked what they will do to ensure that I don't feel anything from the port replacement, I was told they would insert an IV and send me off to "my happy place".  I am good with that.  We need this thing to work properly for another 11 weeks and then we can be done with it. 

On the flip side, there was some really good news today (in addition to not having an allergic reaction or so far no side effects).  Upon examination, the doctor kept using the word "vague" when she tried to measure my tumor.  She had a hard time finding the edges to know where it started and stopped and even in the middle it felt very "vague".  That is very good news - my tumor is responding to the treatment.  PRAISE GOD!!!  Keep praying and love to all of you.

Birthday Blessings

I am blessed to have each of you as supporters in this time in my life.  Thank you to each of you that have expressed birthday greetings to me today.  It has been a marvelous day so far and I'm sure it will continue to be.  We have had a dance recital rehearsal, volleyball game, and time on the phone with my brother in Africa and we are headed to The Cheesecake Factory tonight for a fabulous birthday celebration.  Let me update you a bit on what has happened in the last two weeks.
On May 9th, I had my final treatment of the first half of chemotherapy.  For the first time, I felt sick as the meds were entering my body.  I am glad that didn't happen every time.  I felt sick all day Monday, some of Tuesday, and again, even worse, on Wednesday.  It was a really rough week.  On  Friday, May 13th, I went to see Dr. Holmes again with more questions.  After that appointment, I have decided to switch and begin my 2nd half of treatments with her on May 31.  I will have weekly treatments with her for 12 weeks.  I am not allowed to drive myself to any of those treatments, so I will be trying to put together a schedule for people to take me to treatment and for people to take care of my girls for me during treatments (since they won't be at school anymore - YEAH!!).  If you can help, please let me know.  This week was full with Vacation Bible School planning (I am directing Maddie's 4th grade department :)).  I am trying to get as much done as possible so when VBS gets here, we are not too stressed.  I was also blessed to spend some time with great friends at some lunches.  I love going out to lunch.  My Mom decided to come into town for my birthday at the last  minute.  She drove from Amarillo yesterday (Friday) and got into town around midnight and will leave tomorrow after lunch to head home.  It is a little crazy, but I give her tons of credit for being willing to do so by herself. 
Please continue to pray - especially on May 31 as I start my new treatments.   We are hopeful that they will be more easily tolerated but equally as effective.  Thanks again for all the birthday well-wishes.  I love all of you!!

Devotion to Share

The Bible encourages you to give thanks to God in every situation, even in the circumstances that are difficult.  This shows your willingness to have faith in Him even in the most trying areas of your life.  Yet perhaps as you are expressing your gratefulness, you find that there are experiences and troubles that you just cannot trust him with.  The wounds are too deep and the sacrifice too painful.  Friend, God understands.  Yet he does not ask for gratitude for His sake.  He does it to make you whole.  When you praise Him, it exposes the hidden injuries of your heart to his healing touch.  Thank Him, even when it is a sacrifice.  You can truly be grateful for His loving restoration.

When I read this several mornings ago, it was really helpful to me (for such a time as this).  I just hope it helps you at a time when you might need it also.

2nd Opinion

Many of you have suggested to me that it might be in my best interest to get a 2nd opinion.  Not because I don't trust my current oncologist, but more because it would be even more peace of mind that I am undergoing the correct treatment.  I decided that it was a good idea, so, this last Monday, I went in to meet with Dr. Frankie Holmes.  I had her name given to me by other breast cancer survivors as well as other friends.  My records had all been sent to her so she would be able to communicate better with me about my particular situation.  Many things came from this appointment, and because of those things, Brian and I have some praying and decisions to make.  It is a bit of a long story, but here is basically how the appointment went:
Dr. Holmes had me tell her my story from start to date.  As I talked to her, she made notes on my chart.  She was looking through the records sent over by my current oncologist and asked me about when I go in to be checked after each treatment.  When I mentioned to her that I don't go in for a check-up after each treatment, she didn't really understand.  It appears that in my chart, my current dr. sent over notes that after my last chemo on April 18th, she checked my eyes, heart, lungs, abdomen, and feet.  Unfortunately, none of that is true.  Aside from my very first visit with my current oncologist, when she checked the tumor, she has never checked me again.  When Dr. Holmes asked me if my dr. had checked my tumor after each treatment, I had to tell her no.  Dr. Holmes was alarmed by this news.  She let me know that a full check-up after each chemotherapy treatment is standard care for a cancer patient.  I had no idea.  Dr. Holmes also said something else that stuck with me.  She told me that when I come into her office and I have a tumor, it becomes her tumor.  She doesn't sleep well until that tumor is gone from my body.  That really meant a lot to me.  As we continued going through my chart, she began to discuss the pathology of my tumor with me.  She explained that every tumor is given a grade.  She compared grade 1 tumors to Gomer Pyle (she had to make sure I knew who that was), grade 2 tumors to G.I. Joe, and grade 3 tumors to Osama Bin Laden (the late).  My tumor is a grade 1, which is good news.  She explained that Triple Negative tumors (like mine) are not typically grade 1 tumors.  She also told me that the pathologists study the tumor to see the rate at which the cells divide.  My tumor (triple negative) has a low rate of division which is typical of Grade 1 tumors but not typical of triple negative tumors.  She told me that some triple negative tumors, upon further testing, prove to be five negative tumors and those are actually better than triple negative ones.  She thinks my tumor could possibly be a five negative.  That was all great information.  She concured with my current treatments and upcoming treatments and surgery.  That was also good news.  She referred to my team of doctors and how they communicate.  Unfortunately, even though I have several doctors now, I don't think any of them are communicating with each other much.  Dr. Holmes let me know that after every visit with her, she would then send all information to each of my doctors so they can all be up to date with my care.  She then checked my from head to toe, measured my tumor, and documented all information in my chart she felt was necessary.  I really liked her.  She gave me (us) some serious things to consider about the current level of care I am receiving.  After my next treatment next Monday (the last of the heavy duty treatments and the first half of my treatments), Brian and I will decide what is in my best interest as far as doctors is concerned.  Please pray for us to use discernment and follow God's will.  Pray away my nausea that inevitably will come next Monday and throughout next week.  I covet your prayers for a speedy recovery next week.  Thank you each and every one!

Good News (Depending on Your Point of View)

On April 26th, I had my yearly OB/GYN appointment.  Before she did the breast exam, she asked me if I thought the size of the tumor had changed.  I told her that I had realized in the week prior to the appointment that it appeared to be smaller.  She first examined the right breast (the one with the tumor).  She then moved to examine the left side.  She commented that the tumor had definitely gotten smaller.  When I mentioned to her that the tumor was on the other side, she couldn't believe it.  I reminded her where it was and then she found it again.  The good news for me is that I went from her being able to see the tumor while across the room when I went in on February 14th, to her not even remembering where it was because she had overlooked it.  Instead of being frustrated that she wasn't more aware of my situation, I decided to see it as a praise that the tumor is responding to the chemotherapy.  I, of course, was thrilled.  Please pray specifically that my tumor will definitely respond to this horrible chemotherapy that I am enduring.  Just wanted to share my good news with all my prayer warriors and say THANKS!!

I made it!

Treatment #3 done!!  HIP! HIP! HOORAY!!  Today is the first day I have begun to feel "normal" again.  I sat outside for 2-3 hours just enjoying the sushine.  The weather was phenomenal!  Looking forward to spending the day tomorrow in God's house and then with some godly friends.  Monday was a long day as many of you already know.  The treatment lasted its normal 6 1/2 - 7 hours.  This time, when I got home, I went straight to bed and took nausea meds 2  hours sooner than the last two treatments.  It seemed to help enough to make it through the roughest night of the week.  I didn't feel great at all, but just well enough to not be completely miserable.  The rest of the week has been BLAH to say the least.  My sister was here until Thursday morning and that was fabulous.  I have been very blessed to have had my mom and sis able to come and just be here.  Not to mention that both of them have done some serious cleaning while here.  Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I can't stand a dirty house.  So even on treatment weeks, I am cleaning.  It was wonderful to have them here to help make the job not so overwhelming.  The nausea has been with me all week, but it is starting to go away.  I was given a prescription for indigestion problems I was having and it has helped make the indigestion (and therefore nausea) less intimidating.  I am thankful!  God is still here holding me in the palm of His hand!  At times, I admit, I lose sight of that.  However, through cards, texts, or emails, God places on someone's heart to remind me of it.  I am blessed!  Looking forward to an uneventful week.  He is Risen - He is Risen Indeed!!  Happy Easter!!   Love to all of you - please keep praying!!  Next treatment - May 9.

Catch Up!

Wow - what a quick and full 3 weeks it has been.  I must tell you about my hat party!  I will admit that I was a little worried about the idea since I have never been much of a hat wearer.  I happily announce how wrong I was to be worried.  We had an absolute blast!  If you weren't able to come and haven't seen the pictures, go to my FB page and you can pull up my album from the party.  I got some of the most fun hats.  I have already worn several of them and loved them (in addition to receiving multiple compliments on each one :)).  This week I had to go shopping to find some new cute clothes to wear with some of my new hats.  That has been fun too!  My fashionista 10 year old daughter told me that the hat I was thinking of wearing for Easter was way too dark (deep blue/purple) and that you don't wear dark for Easter.  We'll see!  I haven't decided what to wear yet.  Thanks to all of you that took time from your busy schedules to come to the party.  I think a  great time was had by all that attended.  I am blessed to have such wonderful, Godly friends that I can count on in times of need. 
Next Monday is my 3rd (out of 4) heavy treatments.  I have to tell you that I am not being very Godly on this, but I am working on it.  I am already anxiously worrying about how sick I will be this time on Day 1.   I felt horriby sick the last time and am hoping it doesn't get worse to the point that I am actually sick.  I HATE that!  I wasn't sick with either of my pregnancies and was always grateful for that.  I dont' want to start now with the "sickness" part of chemo.  I am taking all of these nausea drugs that help the rest of the week, but for some reason, that first day they don't even put a curb on the nausea.  Please pray!  As long as I stay very still lying down flat, it seems to help.  My plan is to come home, take the nausea drugs sooner than normal, and then put myself to bed.  I am hopeful that if I stay as still as possible and lay flat, my nausea will be bearable.  Please pray for a better attitude about facing this next Monday.  Right now, I am a fraidy cat and dreading it terribly.  I know that with my God, I can handle anything and l will hold tight to that all next week.  Just keep praying!!  My sister will be here with me until next Thursday and I am very glad about that.  My girls love her!!

The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth

Many of you have already heard about my excitement from the Final Four on Monday night.  For those of you who haven't heard, here goes.  My great friend, LB, and her sweet husband, graciously allowed me to have their extra ticket to the final game at Reliant Stadium on Monday night.  We were all so excited!!  I won't bore you with all the fun stuff we did prior to the game starting.  Once the game started, a man (I can't call him a gentleman) walked past us to his seat with his "drink" (including alcohol).  He proceeded to talk to Kirby, LB's son, even though Kirby was using his headphones to listen to music (Kirb doesn't care much about basketball - just all the cool technology involved in a nationally televised game).  This man just talked louder when Kirb didn't answer him.  Kirby quickly let LB know that he didn't care much for this man, so Laura sent him to get some drinks and moved over so Kirby wouldn't have to sit by the man when he returned.  Now this man begins to hit on LB.  He asked  her multiple times (several minutes apart each time), if her husband was the coach.  When LB told him that her husband was an attorney, he laughed loudly and suggested he help him with one of his many divorces.  SAD!!  After he tired of LB ignoring him or not accepting any of his advances, he turned his attention toward me.  He asked LB who the beautiful blue-eyed girl was and asked if I was married.  He then began taking my picture multiple times with his phone.  I quickly grew tired of this and leaned over and told LB and her kids that if he tried to take my picture one more time (keep in mind that I am actually interested in the game and am incredibly annoyed to be bothered), that I would whip off my wig and smile really big for him.  LB and the kids couldn't believe that I would do that.  Sure enough, he leaned around LB and began to take my picture again.  So, true to my word, I whipped off my wig and smiled really big for him.  After he closed his mouth from shock, he declared he liked me better without my hair.  That was a big bummer since I was hoping I would shock him enough that he would leave me and us alone.  Meanwhile, LB and her kids are just about in the floor from dying of laughter.  I guess they didn't really think I would do it.  Let's jus say that just about everyone in the general vicinity of this was stunned.  We were surrounded by executive men and at this particular moment, they were not watching the game - the show around them was much more exciting!!  Ultimately, the man did leave us alone, and as we were leaving, he actually asked me how I was doing.  I answered good and he told me his wife had been through the same thing (I guess he put 2 and 2 together) and that she was doing great.  I was a bit stunned but more saddened that he wasn't home with his wife instead of drunk at a basketball game trying to hit on two ladies sitting near him.  So now you know.....the rest of the story!!

What A Week!!

Okay, Okay - I admit I had hoped this second week of treatment would be a bit easier than the first. "How can she be so naive?" you may be asking yourself.  My thoughts were that since the first treatment carried so much anxiety with it because I didn't know how my body would react, I thought maybe since I knew how my body would act for the second treatment, it would be "easier".  NOT!!  Day 1 is the worst for me.  Not only do I have to sit for 6 1/2 - 7 hours while these extremely intense chemicals are being shot into my body, but by about 5 pm, I am totally incapacitated.  By that, I mean I am nauseated beyond belief.  Considering the fact that I take one nausea drug in the morning before treatment and another is in one of my IV bags, you would think that would be better.  At 6 pm, on the night of treatment, I take two more drugs for nausea/vomiting, and by that time, the drugs don't help at all.  I was nauseated to the point of feeling like if I moved even an inch or took too deep of a breath, I was definitely going to be sick.  YIKES!  To me, there is nothing worse.  So on that first night, I put myself to bed by a little after 7 and just didn't move again until my 2 AM doses of more nausea drugs.  I can't imagine how awful it would be without all of those drugs trying to keep me from being sick.  WHEW!  Let's just not go there!  On Day 2, Tuesday, I felt 110% better.  The only exciting event from Tuesday was the shot I have to get in my stomach.  Fun??  Not so much!!  The rest of the week was okay.  By that I mean, I just wasn't myself.  I couldn't focus for very long on any one thing.  That makes for long days. I was able to take some naps and that was a blessing!!   My Mom was here and was immensely helpful.  When I asked her to do some cleaning for me, she jumped in and did a fantastic job.  Having her here was a huge help; I just wish I could have been more of a conversationalist during those first days of treatment and recovery.  By the weekend, I was feeling more "normal", but still not 100%.  On Friday, one of my good friends, LB, came by with a proposition.  She had come across 4 tickets to the Final Four for tonight (Monday), and since her sweet husband is going to be at a conference, he can't attend.  She wanted to know if I wanted to go.   WOW!!  What an exciting time it is sure to be (because, of course, I agreed to go after she twisted my arm - wink!wink!).  She suggested I paint my bald head the colors to look like a basketball so we could get on TV.  I'm not volunteering for that - my kids would DIE!!!  Hopefully, I can blog tomorrow as far as how much fun we had and not make you feel too bad that you don't have a friend just like my LB!!

The hair cut

Last Monday, I was blessed to go with 3 great friends to pick up my new wig.  It was a fun time!!  After I got  home, I called my hairdresser and asked if we could go ahead and shave my head.  My hair was falling out in handfuls and I was tired of the mess.  So she met me and Maddie at the shop after hours for her to shave me.  The difference in my children is precious - my oldest, Meredith, is not ready yet to see me without my wig or a hat, and my youngest, Maddie, helped the hairdresser shave my head.  She even went so far as to put a stocking cap on her head after the deed was done and we took a picture of us both being bald.  I completely understand each one's point of view and respect and love them for their opinions.  I must say that having no hair definitely has its advantages.  I am in and out of the shower in 4 minutes, and I can "do" my hair in about 10 seconds.  I prayed before I got my wig that I would love it and I definitely do.  I can't say that I enjoy how hot it makes my  head or how itchy it can be at times, but I love the look.  In fact, I have told my sweet husband that when my hair starts to come back in, if it is gray like it was before, we will begin to pay in order to hide that gray and make it look more like it does with my wig.  Many of you have made me feel wonderful about my new hair.  I have been told I look 20 years younger by one of my Sunday School boys and had an older gentleman tell me that when my hair does come back, I should fix it to look just like my hair does now.  All the comments that have come my way have been so encouraging.  Thank you to each of you for all the kind words.  I am so blessed to have friends like each of you.   I would love it if you would pray "extra" for me this week.  I have my 2nd treatment tomorrow.  I don't look forward to another 7  hours of treatment, but I do look forward to having another one over and done.  Pray patience for my family this week as I will not be feeling all that great and of less help than I usually am.  Pray for my mom as she is here to try and help and my husband as he juggles an extremely busy work schedule and a "needy" wife this week.  Each of you means more to me than you will ever know.  As we discussed in our 7th grade girls bible study this week, each of us will go through some kind of suffering in our Christian lives at some point.  The real test is whether or not we suffer joyfully and praise God in spite of our circumstances.  I pray that is what I can do continually!!

More News!!!

To those of you who are checking regularly and see that I haven't been "blogging", I apologize.  The good news is that I have been doing so well, there is nothing to report.  I didn't really think that you care to know when I plant flowers or go shopping with my girls.  I can bore you with all those details if you really want to  know.  Today, however, I received more news about my blood work from 3 weeks ago.  I found out today that I DO have a genetic mutation for breast cancer.  What that means is that when it is time for me to have surgery, I will have a double masectomy, a hysterectomy, and reconstruction.  I asked Dr. Naqvi how long I would have to wait between surgeries, and she said I wouldn't have to wait at all.  I will have 3 surgeons (one for each type of surgery) and the surgery will last 14 hours or so.  I don't know much more than that right now.  I can tell you that it wasn't as hard to hear as I thought, because I figured if I tested negative for the mutation, I would always wonder if the cancer would come back anyway if they didn't take all of those "body parts".  I am really okay with this news thanks only to God's grace.  I refuse to even think about what recovery might be from that kind of surgery.  That is for another day and another dose of grace.
On a much lighter note, my head has been getting much lighter as of these last few days.  What I mean by that is, my hair is definitely falling out.  My sweet husband has cleaned out the shower drain for the last two mornings, so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.  What a blessing!!  So I took 3 friends with me today to pick up my new wig.  I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who thought I should go with the red.  I really like the one I got!  I received high praise from each friend who assured me it looked great!!  I prayed that I would really like it and I do.  Now I just need to have my hair dresser here to cut off what's left of my "other" hair.  I'm ready for it and all the mess to go.  Most likely the next time you see me, I will have my new "do".  Please continue to pray for my doctors, myself and my family.  My next treatment is next Monday, March 28.  My mom is coming in this Thursday and will be able to stay with us until next Thursday.  We are very excited to have her.

Wig Shopping

After a beautiful weekend of planting flowers and just enjoying God's creation, today was the day the girls and I had waited for - wig shopping.  I wanted both girls to go with me to look for what would become my new hairdo.  I asked them for their opinion, because I wanted them to feel a big part of the decision.  Thanks to the rain storm, it was a perfect morning to be indoors doing some shopping.  Fortunately for us, we were the only ones interested in wigs at this particular store today.  The first wig I tried on must have totally freaked out the girls.  They were not very nice with their opinions, and the ladies in the store were ready to put them out in the rain.  We tried to remind them it was not the color they were to critique, but rather the style.  They still both "intensely disliked" the first wig.   I truly think the first one was more a reaction to the whole idea of Mom with a wig than it was the wig itself.  The second was much better.  In fact, it was the one we all decided we liked.  Now came the decision of what color to go with.  The wig color I tried on was beautiful, but it had much more red in it and we decided that, even though we liked it, it wasn't the color for me.  However, we all decided that Mom would take this opportunity to not have nearly as much gray in her new hairstyle as she does in her current one.  So the color will definitely be darker and different than my current hairstyle, but after discovering just how much gray I have, I am wonderfully excited to try something new and look "younger".  Both of the girls tried on one wig each and thoroughly enjoyed the attention and excitement of it all.  I will try to post the pictures we took, but I'm not sure I will be technically savvy enough.  All in all, I think we all really enjoyed ourselves.

Please pray this week for the results of the blood work I did almost 3 weeks ago.  I should find out this week or next if I have the genetic marker for breast cancer.  If I do have the marker, I will have a double masectomy and a hysterectomy at the end of my treatments.  The reason is the high percentage chance of cancer returning in my other breast (60%) or my ovaries (90%) if we only remove the one with cancer now.  If I don't have the genetic marker, the surgery decision will be made after all treatments are over and we see what is left of the tumor.  I will keep you posted!!!  Thanks for praying!!!

Exercise

Before this roller coaster ride started, I was used to exercising 5-6 times per week.  I would alternate between running 4 miles or biking 11-12 miles.  I love doing that!!  So even though it had been several weeks since I had exercised (because I could hardly get myself out of bed), I decided Wednesday was as good a day as any to begin again.  So I took off on a run that lasted about .3 of a mile.  At that point, my heart rate was already through the roof (I wear a heart rate monitor), so I decided to walk/run the rest of the way.  I went for 3 miles and enjoyed every minute of it.  Until lunch time!!  Once I got home and cleaned myself up, I went to the lab to have blood work done which I now have to do every week.  I was expecting to be in and out in about 30 minutes.  After an hour wait, I was finally seen in just enough time to run to Schlotsky's and pick up the lunch for Maddie I had promised her I would bring.  As soon as she finished lunch, we went to the library so I could buy her something from the school book fair.  By the time I got home, I was ready for a nice long rest.  It was only about 1:00 pm.  I was supposed to wait on some ladies from church to bring over a prayer shawl for me to use during treatments, but I couldn't even stay up for them past 1:15.  I was sad that I missed them, but I knew I wouldn't make it if I didn't lay down for a bit.  I slept for a bit and was able to have enough energy to take the girls to church for their mid-week activities.  All in all, I think I overdid things just a little!! :) 
So on Thursday morning, I decided a bike ride might be better for me.  Instead of my normal  11-12 miles, I only made it 8.5 miles at a slower pace than normal.  I loved every minute of it also!!  The difference between the two was the tired factor.  I don't know if it was because I was one more day removed from chemo or just was an easier option for exercise.  Either way, I think I will turn to "speed walking" and biking for a while.  I sat outside today just so I could enjoy the sunshine.  It was perfect.  To make a great day even better, we had dinner brought to us by one of our favorite people and convinced her to stay and enjoy it with us.  What a blessing friends are!!!

Top Braces are OFF!!!

After almost 2 1/2 years, Meredith finally got her top braces off.  Why so long you may ask?  The original plan for braces was 1 1/2 years since Mer didn't have any huge problems with her teeth.  Unfortunately, when you don't wear your rubber bands like they tell you to wear them, you get an extra year in the deal.  I must say her teeth look fabulously awesome!!  I have no idea when the bottom ones will come off, but if they look anything like the top, she will most definitely have a winning smile!  Today was such a huge blessing to me for a totally different reason!!  I was able to ask forgiveness of a friend for an offense that she and I had been a part of and I had held on to for almost 9 years.  I had long ago forgiven her for the offense but had never asked her to forgive me for the ill feelings I had harbored for the first few years after it happened.  I can not tell you how God heals when you follow what He leads you to do.  I saw today as my opportunity to "clear" the air.  It's funny how God works.  I don't know if any of what I just said makes any sense to you, but if you don't take anything else from my story, please know this.  If you take time to call that "friend" that you may have gotten upset at years ago and have since asked God for forgiveness, but never the person, there is no time like the present.  It is amazing how God will handle it if you will only try.  I also got a great report from my surgeon who says my port has healed nicely.  All is well.  Day 5 is ending with my beginning to feel "normal" again, whatever that is supposed to mean.  Let Go and Let God!!

How Exciting is Target to you?

I found that out just today.  I have been laying low trying to allow my immune system to rebuild itself and being inside is about to drive me crazy.  So today, I called my neighbor and asked her if she could take me to Target.  How much fun it was!!  I know that may sound crazy to you, but it's true.  Other than Target, I awoke to a husband who had a bit of a stomach bug overnight.  This is the man who never gets sick, yet after my first chemotherapy treatment, he gets a touch of a stomach bug.  UGH!  It seems that he is better, because when I talked to him at lunch, he had eaten lunch and finished it off with a bag of jalapeno chips.  REALLY!  I would not have touched those with a ten foot pole.  I also swept and mopped my downstairs this morning which made me feel tons better (go ahead and roll your eyes).  I took a short nap this afternoon and that helped me make it through the girls getting home from school and the wait for dad to come home from a call to Malaysia he had to make at work tonight.  Just finished off a fantastic meal from PF Changs for dinner from a sweet friend.  Right now, I am hoping to play a game with the girls and make it to bedtime.  I'm sure I'll be ready before they will.  Thanks for your prayers! BTW, I am claiming Philippians 1:6 with another sweet friend - read it if you don't know what it says.  It's powerful!!

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This is the Day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it

I  must say, I didn't start off rejoicing this morning.  After Brian and the girls left for church, I had myself a bona fide pity party.  I cried for at least a half an hour because I didn't want to be home; I wanted to be worshipping at chuch with my family.  I listened to some Chris Tomlin, Chris Sligh, and Brit Nicole and finally snapped out of it.  I cleaned a little in the house (therapeutic to those of you who are rolling your eyes), called my brother in Africa and talked to the whole family, and took a 1 1/2 hour nap.  By then, it was time for lunch.  I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich even though that didn't really sound all that great.  I knew I had better eat something.  I also took a 1/4 dosage of ritalin because I was having a really hard time focusing on anything.  I tried to read in my book and couldn't even focus on the words.  After I took it, I began to feel better in that respect.  Brian got home, ate his lunch and came and sat with me on the couch to watch a little college basketball.  The girls were out - Meredith with a friend at the rodeo to see Selena Gomez and Maddie to a friend's from church.  After a bit, my sweet friend, Alys Shorter, came over to share some of her experience with surviving breast cancer.  It was great of her to come and good for me to ask her some questions.  When she left, Brian and I took the dog on a  walk.  It was only a little over a mile, but enough for me just to get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine.  Brian went out again with the dog and I just sat out in a chair on the driveway soaking up some of that fabulous 70 degree Houston weather.  What a blessed day it turned out to be in spite of my pity party.  In my devotional for today, I was reminded that I have not been left to fend for myself.  God has given me His great power and I will never have any problem that requires more power than that.    Blessings on your day!!

Day 1

My chariot (Kela) arrived for me a little after 8 and we headed to the doctor.  Once checked in, paid, and vitals checked, I was hooked up by 8:45.  I asked how many IV bags I would have, and Mandy told me 7.  Kela and I chatted about "stuff" which was wonderful since I haven't been able to do that much in the last 2 1/2 weeks.  The 2nd or 3rd IV bag she gave me had benadryl in it and was supposed to help me take a nap.  Unfortunately, I could never get comfortable so I just dosed a little.  By 11:15, I had fnished the first 6 bags of "stuff" and Mandy hooked up the last.  I was thinking I would be out of there much sooner than originally planned.  This bag was red fluid.  I had a friend tell me she had the same drug cocktail I am having and she told me about this bag.  She told me when she was undergoing chemo, there was a man that would come around the hospital where she was having treatment and pray with the chemo patients.  When he got to her and saw her red bag, he told her it was like having the blood of Jesus running through her.  She really liked that and so do I.  Let it run through and wash away all of the nasty stuff inside.  Since Kela had a commitment at school, my other chariot, Laura, arrived with lunch.  Chicken Noodle Soup from CFA was awesome.  I had never tried it, but I'm thinking it will be my lunch of choice on those days.  After lunch I tried to rest again and this time, Laura says she thinks I slept for an hour.   By the time I finished my lunch and nap, the red bag was still going strong.  Around 3:15 I finally finished and headed home already extremely tired.  I stayed on the couch lying down because every time I would try to sit up, I would feel nauseated.  I was surprised that it hit that fast.  This morning, however, so far so good.  I again want to say thank you to all of you who are supporting me in this journey.  You really discover who your friends are in situation like this and I am abundantly blessed with all of you.  Continue to pray for my girls so that when they see me laid out on the couch or bed it doesn't upset them.  Love to all of you.

Make the Most of It

Today is my last "free" day until all of this is over and I am declared "Cancer Free".  So what am I doing with my day you may ask.  How about an exciting day of Target, Wal-mart, maybe a little lite cleaning/picking up around the house, etc.   I know, I know, you wish you could join in the fun.  :)  I begin my first treatment in the morning.  I have all of the meds to take care of all the side effects that are expected.  I am a little anxious once again of the unknown and would appreciate continued prayers over the next week as I see how this affects me.  Many of you have asked how you can help me.  A sweet friend has set up a care calendar for me and the info is at the top of my blog right under the title.  Check it out if you are able.  As I read in my devtional book this morning, I was reminded of something again that seems to be very obvious to me in these days.  As believers, we have a responsibility to be a blessing not only to those who are living godly lives but also to those who are not.  Do you find yourself upset at the checkout person at the grocery store when they overcharge you by accident?  Do you fuss a little too much at the waiter when you have had to wait a little too long for a refill? We have no idea what any of those people are dealing with in their lives, yet we are to be Jesus to them.  How are you doing with that?  I pray daily for God to bring someone into my path, either that I already know or that I have never met, that I can somehow show God's love to them.  That is how I am making the most of it.  How about you?

Scan Results are IN!!

After reading in my devotional book this morning (I already shared those gems of wisdom with you), I had decided that no matter what happened today with results, it could never be too difficult for God to handle.  So why was it when I was sitting with Brian in the office waiting for Dr. Naqvi to come and give us the news, a little Satan leaked into my mind again.  Every time it happens, I pray it away.  We waited a bit (30 minutes or so) for Dr. Naqvi.  As that time elapsed, I (as I had done many times before) had once again decided I had cancer all over my body.  Satan had reminded me of joint pain in my wrist, so I was convinced it was in my bones.  He reminded me of losing my apetite for Chick-fil-a several months ago, so I was convinced I had stomach cancer.  And so it goes!!!  Why oh why do we let him have any space in our minds?  Our God is greater, our God is stronger!!  When Dr. Naqvi walked in with a big smile and said:  "GOOD NEWS - YOUR SCANS ARE ALL CLEAR!!!", of course, I started to cry.  She immediately told me she understood!!  She explained all of it to me and told me that I was a very healthy person and would handle chemotherapy just fine.  She then took time to answer all of my questions in a very relaxed manner, never making me feel rushed or like she had somewhere else to be.  She went through all of the medications I will be taking and told me when to take them.  The plan is to take 4 chemo treatments over the next 3 months (one every 3 weeks) and then 12 more treatments over the next 3 months (one a week).  She mentioned that the 2nd half of treatments will not be nearly as hard as the first but she was confident I would handle the first ones just fine.  God is truly amazing!!  As Brian and I were leaving, I was blessed yet again to be able to minister to another breast cancer patient named Joni.  Please pray for her - there are lots of things going on for her.  Thank you so much for all of your prayers and love.  We need every bit of it!!

Port Surgery

We checked in at Methodist just before 6 this morning.  By 6:30, I was already in my gown and hooked up to all sorts of machines with an IV ready for anesthesia.  I even had a hose inserted in my gown for heat and given a controller to control the temperature.  How Awesome is That!!  Every single person I came in contact with was absolutely wonderful!!  I met several nurses, the anesthesiologist, her nurse, Dr. Pollack came in along with her nurse for surgery.  It was a party with an elite guest list! :)  At a few minutes before 7:00 AM, I was taken into the Operating Room and surrounded by all of those wonderful people.  One of them placed the oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and the next thing I remember was at 8:30 waking up in the recovery room.  Amazing!!  By 9:30, Brian and I were headed home.  Everything was super this morning including having a super husband who is hanging with me every step of the way on this journey.  I am now sore and trying to avoid the Vicadin.  Taking Tylenol instead - we'll see  how long that lasts.  :)

Nothing at All

My sweet friend, Laura, gave me this book to read day and night reminding me of God's peace.  This morning as I head to the hospital for the port surgery and then this afternoon to the oncologist for results and the "plan", this is what I read.  "I am the Lord, the God of all peoples of the world.  Is anything too hard for me?"  Jeremiah 32:27  Then, "Ah Lord God!  Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm!  Nothing is too difficult for You."  Jeremiah 32:17  I was reminded that impossible situations are God's specialty.  My obstacles are nothing at all to God.  What a message for me this morning and maybe you too!!  Keep praying - I continue to pray away the anxiousness as it takes hold of me.  Love all of you who are loving on me and my family!!

The Journey Begins

Mid - Late January:  Leaning over in the shower to dry off is how I first noticed my "lump".  I simply noticed that my right breast didn't look the same as it always had.  Of course I waited a couple of weeks thinking that it would go away before I called the doctor.

February 1:  I started teaching for a wonderful teacher friend of  mine who teaches 4th grade at my daughter, Maddie's, school.  She found out at the first of the school year that she had breast cancer.  I promised her that every time she had to go out for doctor's appointmnets or treatments and then surgery, that I would fill in for her.  She had surgery today so I started teaching full time.

Valentine's Day:  I decided it was important enough to see a doctor.  Once in the office, I placed my arm over my head like I always do for her to check me, and she immediately saw it.  She felt it and decided it was soft and moved around a bit, so she felt like it was probably a cyst.  Just to be on the safe side, she sent me for a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound of the breast. 

February 17th:  I headed to the hospital for the check-ups.  Once the radiologist saw my results, he had to come see for himself.  He felt sure it was not a cyst, but instead a cellular mass.  He ordered a biopsy right away. 

February 21st:   I went back to the hospital for my biopsy, this time with my husband.  Even though they deaden the area, it was still a bit painful.   The radiologist placed a marker at the site, so that in the future, others would know it had already been tested.  After the biopsy, I headed back in for another mammogram to check to make sure the marker was in the right place.  Once I finished with that, the radiologist stepped out of his office and asked me if I would like to come into his office and look at my films with him.  Definitely!  He showed me everything and in essence told me it looked like cancer to him.  O JOY!!  When I walked out after the appointment, I told Brian what the radiologist had said.  We both cried!!  I told my oldest daughter, Meredith, today.  She didn't take it too well.  She said things like, "That means you are going to die!" and "That means I will get it too since your mom had it and now you do too!"  After reassurance and some calming of emotions, she seems to be doing better.  Please keep her in your prayers!!

February 23:  My OB/GYN called and asked me to come in to discuss the results - they refused to divulge anything over the phone.  Once in the office, she told me I had been diagnosed with infiltrating ductal carcinoma.  My heart fell!!  I guess I knew that since my mom had breast cancer twice, my chances were fairly high, but I had hoped and prayed that living a healthy lifestyle would prevent it from happening to me.  God has bigger plans for me than I can imagine!  My doctor referred me to a breast specialist, Dr. Jo Pollack.  I am still hopeful that it is a candidate for hormone treatment and a lumpectomy.  Today is the day I told my younger daughter about the cancer.  She reacted much the same way as the older one.  Again, emotions are calmer now and she seems to be okay.  Please keep her in your prayers as well!  She is more emotional like me than my oldest.

February 24:  Dr. Pollack describes the tumor as mean and nasty.  It is small but ugly.  The meaning of that is that not only can it enter the body through the lymphatic system, but this one can enter through the blood stream.  My hormone scores were triple negative which means that it didn't respond to any of the hormones they treated it with.  She gives me the news that I will have six months of chemotherapy and then surgery.  At this point, I am not sure if I can make anymore tears to shed.  She sets me up with an oncologist appointment and schedules my surgery to have the port put in for chemo. 

February 25:  I went to school knowing I had my first doctor's appointment with my oncologist at 11:30.  I called the doctor's office to try and change the time so I would not have to miss the whole day of teaching.  Once the time was changed, I quickly ran to Methodist hospital to pre-register and do blood work for the surgery to put in the port on March 2.  I had already promised my youngest daughter, Maddie, that I would be at school to watch her in Jump Rope for Heart, so I hurried back to school to watch her for about 15 minutes before going to the oncologist's office at 10:15.  Brian met me there.  Dr. Naqvi is wonderful!!  My teacher friend uses her and has had nothing but great things to say about her.  She took us through all the biology and logistics of what is about to begin.  I will start chemotherapy on March 3 or 4.  I will have 4 treatments that are 3 weeks apart.  Once those are finished, I will do 12  more treatments; once a week for 12 weeks.  At the end of that I will have surgery.  She took blood to test me for the breast cancer gene.  If I am positive for that, I will have both breasts and my ovaries removed due to the high risk of cancer returning if I left them there.  The chemo will be harsh in order to kill  my type of tumor, but I am confident with the prayers of so many being lifted on my behalf, that I can handle it. 

February 26:  I took an anxiety pill for the first time in  my life in order to help me sleep last night.  It was wonderful!  I cleaned house, did laundry, and pulled weeds!  All very therapeutic! 

February 27:  Today is Sunday - the Lord's day!!  I am thankful for a church and church family that will get me through this.  My appointment for the all important body scans is tomorrow.  Please pray as you never have on my behalf, that the Lord will see fit to make my scans completely crystal clear!!

February 28:  Scans today!!!  I went in with my sweet friend, Laura, to get started with my appointment.  Her precious daughter had come down sick today, so she called in another sweet and long-time friend, Kela to take over her place.  In essence, I had to drink some "spiked" Propel water for the CT scans and get a dye injected into my bones for the bone scan.  The dye needed 2 hours to get all through my body, so I called my oncologist to see if I could go take care of my cardiologist appointment in the "off" time.  Why waste time is what I am thinking!!!  She called and asked for me and they let me go in  immediately.  Kela took me to the cardiologist's office and we were in and out in a little over an hour.  Awesome when you don't have to wait forever in the doctor's office!!!  The cardiologist assured me that I have a very strong heart and it all looks great!!  We headed back to get the bone scan done.  It wasn't really bad, but took about 45 minutes of lying as still as I could.  At the end of the scan, I asked my tech, Roderick, if there was anything I could pray for him about.  It was obvious that I had stunned him, but it was nice to think about someone other than myself.  What a great God we serve - I got the idea of asking that question from a speaker at Tallowood who suggested we ask our server at a restaurant if there was anything we could pray about for them.  Roderick just asked for prayer to keep up with his two young children (12 and 6).  You got it Roderick!!!  Trusting God with the results of the scans - won't know until Wednesday at 1:00.  Keep Praying!!!

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